Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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