I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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