so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize