I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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