I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
