My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
