Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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