it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Operation Purity has been aborted
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
