a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
