So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
