So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
