my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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