I think my vagina is haunted
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize