I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
