Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
