It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
