Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
