Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
