Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
