I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
