i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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