I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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