Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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