my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
