I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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