On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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