He had one of those small greek statue penises
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
