We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
