I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize