how can u be prego again
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
