Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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