Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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