this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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