I cannot find my penis.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
is this the sara with the beer cane?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
