.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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