maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
