they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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