I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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