You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
