Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
