I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
