I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
