On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
