oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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