After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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