Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
