I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
