Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
