I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
