I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
