she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
