Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
