the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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