i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
