I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
